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MAY'S HORRORSCOPES
Today's Horrorscopes
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov 23 - Dec 22)
You will meet a sexy, dark Gothic woman while browsing your local video store…and proceed to make a complete fool of yourself. Remember: the way to a woman's heart is via the Cult section.
CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 20)
You will revisit an ex-lover from your past seeking closure - but closure 'comes' in various forms…
AQUARIUS (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
As your planets are aligned it is a good time to try for that career you've always been tempted to pursue. The moons in Jupiter would suggest that stand-up comedy be the wise path to take.
LEO (Jul24 - Aug23)
The moon of Uranus is sending some pretty intense vibes into the atmosphere - you may be tempted to steal a VCR. But do so at your own risk, as your retribution may come in the guise of a beguiling green-haired lady….
ARIES (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
Today is a good day to pack up and head for the suburbs, to make contact with those you haven't seen for some time.